My trip to Hamburg, Germany

A beautiful city, full of rivers, buildings made of brick, Christmas fairs (because I went during the Christmas season, 😝) and lots of good beer, all perfect, right ?! But make no mistake, I am able to do sh** even in the middle of that perfection.

First, let’s talk about transportation. Baby humans, there is nothing simple about taking a train in Hamburg, it always changes direction, the words are in German, (is so outrageous the fact that they are not in Portuguese 😂) and nobody, I repeat, nobody has a kind soul to help this poor Brazilian who writes to you.

Or you can just book a free walking tour and do not stress about all that s***

On one of the days that I went out to tourist around, I ended up getting lost with no idea where I was (obviously, because if I knew I wouldn’t be lost 😒), so hoping to find myself, I tried to ask some people how to get to the nearest subway. Dear humans, most people just gave me a get out hand and looked at me as if I had just crapped on the street when I dared to address them.

So it didn’t take long for me to give up and sit on one of the benches feeling defeated and reflecting on the reason for my existence, what to do with my life and how the hell I was going to go back home. While I was having an internal reflection, a lady sat next to me for a snack. And I, almost hopeless and feeling bad about just being alive, asked timidly if she knew where the subway was. She opened the most beautiful smile and explained to me where it was and how to get there. She asked where I was from and I told her my story. She laughed and said she understood me perfectly. She was not German either.

But don’t let that discourage you, getting lost in cities is always one of the best ways to find the best of it, so arm yourself with a phone with a full battery that you will be more than good. Hamburg is beautiful, and I found several wonderful street exhibitions and squares with beautiful decorations while I was lost. The city itself is a charm, some of the places have a magical and romantic air. I’m a little suspicious to talk about it, considering that I’m in love with old buildings and any brick or wood construction, and if there are rivers or lakes around, that’s it. It’s love. And I LOVED the center of Hamburg.

One of the things I highly recommend is taking one of the boats that go around the city, it’s like taking a bus, and the scenery is brilliant, the station itself is so charming. And if you have time, stop by the “beach”. You can sit there on one of these beach chairs while having a beer and observe the world. This is one of those moments when you look around, take a deep breath and realize that you are happy.

When I was there, it was ridiculously cold, so no bikini or swimming. Although I confess that even if it was hot I wouldn’t enter the water, it’s so close to the port and there are a lot of ships on the water that I don’t rekon being a good idea. But just being there is already an amazing experience.

Here is worth telling an interesting experience. Brazil and Germany have several cultural differences, but I believe that the most “comical” is related to blowing your nose. You see, in Brazil, the act is not well accepted when done in front of other humans, in Germany it’s ok. Now, what’s the name when you have a runny nose and breathe harder? Well, this act is ok in Brazil, but in Germany, this is very bad. Everything is oposit, right ?! 😎😆

Knowing that when I went it was cold, guess how my nose was like? Needing to be blown. We were sitting on one of those beach chairs watching the movement with my nose running when someone offered me a paper to blow my nose, as I didn’t want to get up I said no, but then they offered me more insistently. My friend explained to me about the cultural difference, so to make my Mom proud of my education, I took the paper and got up to go to the corner to blow my nose, but I was warned, since blowing in front of others is socially accepted, if I left there to go to a corner and come back everyone would think I went to fart. As I don’t fart or shit anything but flowers, I decided to blow my nose right there, duuuuude, I felt very strange blowing my nose there in front of the others.

You see, I believe that if it weren’t for the circumstances, I wouldn’t have cared, but as I was very aware of the cultural difference and the feeling of strangeness was very strong. But it can always get worse. My brain completely bugged when I finished blowing and started to lower my hand, I was in a huge internal debate about the next step to take: to look or not to look at the paper. Brothers and sisters, I need to know how my phlegm is doing. He left me, he’s like a son, you need to check your health!
I looked, obviously.
Loves, do you check that phlegm too?

Regardless of the color of your phlegm, if you visit Germany at Christmas time you will have to deal with the cold. But aside from that horrible fact, there are certainly beautiful and magical places that you need to visit. Like Christmas markets for example! Aaaah beautiful people, there is nothing more charming than the Christmas market. Seriously. It’s like a movie, the most charming and romantic thing in the world, they are set up in the city squares and there is always a good hot wine to accompany it. I fell in love with this place!

But it is not just squares, hot wines and romance in this city, there are also bars and parties! And one of the mandatory places to visit for this purpose is Reeperbahn Street, the entertainment street. There are several bars, clubs, and restaurants. And the drink to accompany this adventure has to be the famous Mexikaner, which according to my flawed memory is a collection of everything left in the fridge, including tomato sauce and alcohol, I don’t know what type but I suspect it is vodka. It looks disgusting, but it’s delicious.

One of the nights, after taking a bunch of these, my folks decided to go to another tourist spot that you should also visit, preferably more sober than me, the fish market. We went there to eat the famous… fish sandwich? I don’t remember, but I remember loving it, at least to a certain extent, because when I realized that due to the cold I couldn’t feel my nose anymore, I started to panic.

Guys, how come I can’t feel my nose? You don’t even know how desperate I was for not being able to feel my nose, this is so morally incorrect! And in the midst of my sobriety, the fact that I couldn’t feel my nose seemed to be the most horrible thing in the world, EVIL cold! And with this pain in my heart, missing my nose, tears on my face, and slightly altered by drinks from the rest of the fridge, I decided that I hate cold more than anything in this world and that I was leaving for a warm place. I bought a ticket for Africa. Morocco. I don’t even want to tell you but it was cold there too 😭